Posted by: Lotfi Frigi | January 27, 2010

What Obama Won’t be saying On The State Of The Union…

I was asked a bit earlier what I was expecting Obama to say in his address on the State of the Union. Well, that’s an easy question! I won’t go as far as the White House spokesidiot, Robert Gibbs, went when he said earlier that “[T]he president’s going to explain why he thinks the American people are angry and frustrated.” Yeah, right! But I know what Obama won’t be saying. He won’t tell you the truth on why the war is being escalated in Afghanistan and Pakistan. He won’t be telling you why more troops and more mercenaries will be shipped over there soon. He won’t tell you why we are taking a special liking to Yemen these days. He won’t tell you why the planned freeze on spending includes education (Hey, at least we’re not spending money on educating them, stupid kids!) but excludes the military war machine… Oh he’ll be telling you lots of things, but none of them will be unambiguous, clear, direct and honest. There will be plenty of buzz words and catch phrases and empty slogans and cheap theater, but at the end and after it’s over, you will know that he actually didn’t say crap.
I read a comment a bit earlier on what Obama’s State of the Union address might sound like. It went like this…

“My Fellow Americans,

In my first year of office, I’ve been on TV, more than all presidents before me combined, and I looked great. My suits are nicer, and people would rather hear me speak than Regis. That’s the good news. The bad news is now that I’m president, all of the change I promised isn’t going to happen. Why? Because Big Oil has me by the throat, Monsanto is holding my arms behind my back, Dick Cheney and the defense industries have their hand up my butt, and the banks led by Geithner are squeezing my balls very tightly. If you are poor or about to be evicted from your home, all I can say is try not to think of it as ”homelessness”, try to think of it as a really long camping trip. Stray cats look alot like rabbits after you skin them, or so I’ve heard. I will continue the policy of shipping manufacturing jobs offshore as fast as possible, combined with importing cheap Asian labor on H1B and L1 visas until the minimum wage is meaningless. I’m sorry that you, the American people, thought you were electing another FDR. The truth is, you voted for Herbert Hoover. At least Obamaburbs sounds better than Hoovervilles. In three more years I’ll be on the lecture circuit, speaking to those few that will still be able to afford a meal indoors, for $50,000 a pop. Thank you, and goodnight!”

Well! Those won’t be Obama’s words, but it will be the gist of it I bet you…


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